Top 5 Speed-Dating Tips for Men
Speed-dating is ideal scenario to throw yourself in to if you're intent on learning how to succeed with women. Where else can you meet up to 20 women in one night with minimal effort?
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- Be confident
This is the single most important thing. You will get nowhere without it. Famously, the actor Sean Connery was asked what is the secret of his success with women and he replied: “Confidence, confidence, confidence.”
If you don’t display confidence, everything else will fall down. It doesn’t matter if you look good, if you’re dressed to kill or if you’re very funny. If you appear shy and nervous, nothing else will matter.
Now you might be reading this thinking I am shy and nervous so I might as well just give up now. Well, if you do that you’ll never improve yourself and you’ll never develop the required confidence.
What I advise here is “to fake it to make it”…at least to start with. Before you step in to the venue you should take some time out and visualise your evening being a success. Imagine approaching the first girl with a confident stride, making eye contact, having a fun conversation, making her laugh. Imagine the feeling you’ll have when this happens. How happy will it make you feel?
Now it’s time to step up to the plate. Walk up as if you have nothing to lose, imagine that you don’t care about the outcome, it’s a privilege for her to meet you.
Take something from each successful interaction and gradually build your confidence. You’ve had a successful, interesting conversation with a woman so why wouldn’t you be able to do it again. Maintain this positive attitude and your confidence will gradually build up.
- Smile
This is an obvious one but can sometimes be lost in the few seconds before approaching. Women are more receptive, not to mention less threatened by a man who smiles when greeting her. However, don’t keep smiling throughout as this will look unnatural and possibly creepy and may lead to you coming across as slightly goofy.
- Don’t shake hands
This is not a job interview! Have you ever got a date from a job interview? If the answer is yes, you don’t need to be reading this as you don’t need any help! The mistake that many people make is shaking the girl’s hand when she offers it. Don’t do it! It sets the tone for a formal, unnatural and ultimately boring conversation.
- Lead the conversation
Following on from the previous tip, you need to lead the conversation. The number one reason for this is that women are looking for their partner to lead them in all manner of situations. A man who leads is seen as very attractive and powerful.
The second reason and is also very important is that you can lead the conversation down an interesting route. If you leave it to the girl she’ll lead you down the path of standard, boring questions such as “what do you do?”, “are you having a good night?” and “where do you live?” These questions are tedious and are no good for sparking attraction unless you respond to them in an offbeat way.
- Be funny but don’t be a dork
Ok, you want to make her laugh. This is crucial for breaking the tension and for sparking attraction. You want to make her understand that you are a funny, attractive bloke and fun to be around. Make her laugh and she’ll enjoy herself. Most of all she’ll remember you. This is crucial when you’re competing with up to 19 other guys. You need to stand out!
However, don’t spend the whole 3 minutes making fun of yourself or continuously laughing. This will communicate that a) you have low self-esteem and are an individual of lower status and b) that you are nervous and are laughing to break the tension.
Make fun of her but not in a nasty way.
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